Men’s 1st XV v Warlingham 06/12/2008

Home – London 3 South East

Report by Andy Ward

Lost 10-13

I toyed with the idea of calling the police and reporting a robbery, but perhaps it wasn’t and we just gave the game away. Whatever, it was a fact that Warlingham were incredibly pleased to leave the recreation ground with two points. Was it more than they deserved? Possibly, but at the end of the day you’ve got to have the points on the board to win the game. So, fair play to them and Hove must examine how to kill games where they are in the ascendancy.

Let’s start in the time honoured way by sharing details of lunch. As is traditional, the last home game before the festive season sees Hove host its Christmas Lunch. With 80 to sit down and scoff, my mind wandered as to how many turkeys would have to be in the oven to feed such a merry throng and after chatting with Statto, we reckoned about 10 should do it. Hope the oven is big enough!As luck would have it, the ovens coped with the introduction of such a large amount of poultry and those about to feast gave thanks – if they but knew it to the Mesoamericans who had domesticated the Meleagris gallopavo thus leading to its eventual introduction to Europe and onto our tables at Christmas.

So, it came to pass after two helpings of main course and two lots of a scrummy Christmas pud that the time had come to watch the game and with one lot of Turkeys out of the way, we could move to the other lot! Sorry, I couldn’t resist that rather feeble attempt at humour.

The game started with Warlingham kicking off from the west end of the ground, thus giving Hove the trouble of playing into a low but bright winter sun that had all the spectators on the north side squinting to see. Was this contributory? Possibly so, but Warlingham also had this factor in the second half.

My first notes on my pad were “sloppy passing” and “bad hands” and sadly this was to be a factor of Hove’s game throughout and was the cause of many a turnover. Maybe we had a collective bad day at the office, but the game was SCREAMING for someone to take control, slow things down and direct proceedings with calm and measured intent.

Hove had the first chance to score when a penalty was awarded but the chance was missed. Hove then had a further opening down the right as Scott Patto latched onto a pass after Hove had broken from our 22. Unfortunately, Scott was bundled into touch just before the line and this proved to be Hove’s sole attempt to get over the line of the first half.

After 25 minutes Warlingham scored in the corner as they managed to scramble the ball from the Stand Off’s hands after he (the 10) had been treated to a Harvey special. I really did not think the guy would get up again and it was a few minutes before he did. The 10 received the ball just on Hove’s 22 as Harvey was launching himself forward and in a perfect example of how to tackle someone WHAM – he was down.

Tom Howell had suffered a knock some 5 or 6 minutes previously and had to go off in the 28th minute causing a bit of a reshuffle. Jack came on and went blind and Harvey moved into the 13 position outside Ryan.We then were entertained to a moment of pure farce as Hove were awarded a penalty and the guardian of the kicking tee was busy half way up the north bank chatting some birds up! After waking from his stupour and realising his predicament, he casually trotted to retrieve the tee and walked purposefully to the appointed spot. Meanwhile, Adam was on his belly trying to hold the ball for Ryan, who was casting glances over his shoulder to see the location of the tee, whilst seeing referee Bowers look pointedly at his watch. Should I kick or should I wait was the thought bubble appearing above his head. In the end, he waited and then tried to hurry the kick to satisfy the laws on time with the inevitable result of a miss.

Now, I know I bang on most weeks about kicking but it does amaze me why a Club like Hove – with the resources being poured into things – don’t have kicking coaches and kicking practice. And above all else, why the bloody hell do we rely on a scruffy, dog eared, chewed up marker cone to be the base upon which to launch an attempt for either 2 or 3 points?

It beggars belief. We have some good kickers – but if they don’t get chance to practise then they will never be great kickers. If they don’t get coached and trained then they will never get better techniques. And if they continue to use a twopenny cone to kick from.

Moving on to the next piece of Whitehall Theatre! Near the death of the first half, Warlingham were attacking Hove’s line and the action was in the south east corner and thus a tad difficult for this blind old bat to see properly. But it transpires that Paddy had kicked or knocked the ball back so that it crossed the Hove line and he didn’t want to touch it down for a 5 metre scrum so hacked at it to get it into touch. Trouble was that the ball bounced awkwardly with Paddy pirouetting on his wrong foot like an ageing ballerina with one gin too many and it evaded his boot and sat there inviting someone to touch it down. To be fair to Paddy, he actually did get first hands to it but sadly this was not seen by referee Bowers but he did see the Warlingham player drop onto it and so he awarded a second try for the visitors. Whilst chatting with Paddy later, he agreed that next time he’d drop on it like a stone thus ensuring the referee sees his actions.

Half time came and Hove were 10 points to nil down.The second half came and within 5 minutes Hove were back in the game. Good work by the forwards saw the ball come out and Harvey gathered and thundered at the Warlingham defence who were no match for such a determined force and the ball was under the posts for 5 points, soon to be augmented by the kick courtesy of Adam. A mere five minutes later and with a penalty by Adam, Hove were back on level terms and looking good value. This 20 minute purple patch at the start of the second half should have brought more return and these are the things we need to address.

Unfortunately, the hands problem reappeared and balls were going astray and there were more knocks on that people lining up for the New Year’s sales. Referee Bowers was strangely having a bit of an off day and I don’t recall him blowing once for Warlingham being off side and lying over which they did on many occasions and a yellow card would have been a fair decision on more than one occasion. Especially the number 4!

Hove also did not attack as a unit. Too often a single player was charging up the pitch with reinforcements too far behind. The result was as expected, tackle made, Hove holding on and a penalty to Warlingham. Had this only happened once it could have been forgiven.

But it didn’t. In the 21st minute and bringing to an end the period of Hove’s ascendancy, Warlingham were awarded a penalty which they kicked over and Hove were behind again. Could we still get another score. Sadly, no. Matt (“the tee”) Sole came on for Scott and James moved to wing to accommodate. He knows what I am going to write next! The ball came over and James called and caught it and then proceeded to drop it thus giving Warlingham the scrum. And this was the tale of the game. Bad hands at inconvenient times! But this wasn’t James’ fault nor Paddy’s nor – really – anyone else as an individual.We seem to be trying to win games with an immediacy. Instead of just doing the basics right and taking chances when they come. We want to try and get scoring before the opportunities are there. This then causes errors to creep in and holes for the opposition to exploit.

Many times over the years I have written something like “if only we had the forwards”, well now we do have the forwards and they made a pretty good fist of the game. It was the backs that were really having an off day and I never thought I’d be writing those words.

Next week sees an excursion into the Sussex Cup away at Crowborough and someone else will have to write the match report as I have to be on duty elsewhere for the Club. Does my work know no limits I hear you all say!

The 20th sees us return to league action and we visit Old Reigatian and it would be nice to avenge the defeat we suffered at their hands three or four weeks ago. We may now have kissed any chance of promotion away – maybe not – but we certainly will be instrumental in deciding who does go up. There has only been one game this season in which we were soundly beaten. All others we have been beaten only by ourselves. If we face up to the challenges ahead and go for 100% return, then we may just sneak ahead of people.The question is – do you want it badly enough?