Men’s 1st XV v Eastbourne 14/11/2009

Away – London 2 South East

Report by Andy Ward

Won 29-0

Well, a typical November day saw me tarry at Hove HQ to watch the first 40 minutes of the twos at home against Pulborough, but half way through the half, the heavens opened and the already gale force wind was joined by driving rain. Time to repair to the bar and watch from the window. As I was leaving the twos were down 7-0 and were a little disjointed being more 15 players than 1 team.

Anyway, I had to leave and we set off for Eastbourne and were accompanied by the weather for most of the way. But, as luck always smiles at the innocent, when we arrived at Eastbourne, it was more or less stopped and stayed that way throughout the game only to restart about 3 minutes after final whistle. Don’t you just love it when a plan comes together!

As a spectacle, you should have stayed at home. The conditions did not favour playing rugby as the wind decided how the game was to be played. If it was with you then you could have a kick, if not then forget it.

From the kick off it was true and the Hove start stalled in the wind and the ball fell to Eastbourne who kicked for touch and the wind assisted ball went into touch a mere metre away from the line. Much to the delight of the locals – especially the chap on the balcony who was shouting at such a triumph in a way that I normally reserve for winning the World Cup or being offered eight hours in bed with Cheryl Cole and a couple of her mates. Still, it takes all sorts and he didn’t stay there long with the combination of the score and the weather.

Hove were held back in their half as all attempts to clear the ball were thwarted by the wind and a kicking game was just not on. After several attempts, the truth was discovered and all of a sudden the ball was up the collective forwards’ jumpers and progress was being made in territory and possession if not in score.

But after 12 minutes of grind up the pitch, the ball came out to scrum half Ben Ward who dummied, shimmied and then popped the ball down for the first blood to Hove. Ben was to get neither of his first half kicks as the wind made a mockery of such attempts.

It was 30 more minutes of often turgid rugby before any more scores were to be offered to the crowd when Cranleigh Paterson went over in the other corner to Ben for his first score for the Club.

Half time came and went, England were drawing 9-9 all at Twickenham and according to those who had elected to stay in the warm and the dry – it was a pretty piss poor first half all round. I then emailed the first half report to Juice FM who have been good enough to cover the team this year and stepped back on the balcony to take in the delights of the second half.

With the wind behind them Hove were soon into their stride and even a team with about 8 changes from last week were too strong for what appeared to be a poor Eastbourne side. After five minutes, lock Bevan Kershaw went over for his first score for the Club and, no doubt, the celebrations in Tarawakidoodah (wherever!) were in full swing as two sons of theirs were on the score sheet for Hove.

Conveniently placed near the posts Ben managed to get this one over with reasonable ease but it was the only one of the game that didn’t require some assistance from a well placed finger.

A slip by Dipo allowed Eastbourne to make a break and Nick Marshall saved the day and bundled the attacker into touch but at the cost of an injury and so Ryan came on at that point. Within 5 minutes or so, Ben Ward had gone over for his second try after selling the entire Eastbourne defence as good a dummy as I’ve seen. The finger of Watty steadying the eddying of the wind was still insufficient to allow Ben to convert.

Another ten minutes and Ben went over for his third try much to the amusement of all watching and its consequences for Sim’s wallet! This time, Watty’s finger was dispensed with as the ball was bang in front of the posts. But alas as Ben was about the take the kick the bugger was blown over and a quick readjustment was needed and Ben dropped the ball over just as the Eastbourne charge was arriving.

Mark was taken off and Rory brought on but he didn’t last that long. Initially there was a handbags between Ryan and the Eastbourne full back which caused the referee to blow and issue a general warning and so when the Eastbourne 3 slapped Rory then the ref decided enough had happened and gave them both 10 minutes. A bit unfair perhaps but there you go.

That was pretty much the last action of the game and the ref blew signalling a 29-0 victory to Hove. Lewes went down by one point at home to Warlingham, Juddians won (again!) at Bromley, Sevenoaks edged it past Deal and OR won over PJF. KCS beat OD to complete the week and the top half of the table reads TJ, Hove, Warlingham, OR, Lewes, Sevenoaks.

Next week is the cup game away to Lewes with a likely 14:00 KO as its a Cup game and may have extra time. And, don’t forget – we are in a dark month!