Men’s 1st XV v Eastbourne 08/11/2008

Away – London 3 South East

Report by Andy Ward

Won 54-5

On a particularly inclement day after already having driven 300 miles to Leamington Spa and back, I ventured the new automobile in the direction of Eastbourne, switched on the cruise control and waited for about 30 minutes until ERFC appeared on my left. I was rather surprised by the number of youngsters about then saw they were having a curtain raiser game. This was all very well, but it did cause some damage to the pitch and it was all the more surprising when there was a big notice in the Clubhouse ordering “No training whatsoever on Pitch 1”. The purpose of this observation will hopefully become a little clearer as we advance through this report!

Hove got the game underway at the appointed hour of 14:30 with Adam Phillips, fresh back from wherever he had been, floating the ball with the assistance of the wind into the Eastbourne territory. I think that was the only time in the first 40 minutes that Hove were in their own half – such was the attacking ferocity.

After 4 minutes had elapsed, Hove were awarded a penalty and elected to take the scrum. The ball was won but kept in the forwards when possibly it should have been given out. Eastbourne transgressed again and the referee gave a second penalty to Hove and this time the ball was thrown to Sam to pop it over the bar and to collect the first points of the match in the fifth minute.

Within three minutes of this, further good moves by the pack saw Dave Watton scamper over for the first of his hat trick. This had all started as Hove collected the ball from the Eastbourne kick off and thanks to Paul Hasib charging at the defence, slipping the ball to Rory Chesham who continued this onslaught before the ball found its way to Dave for the try. A further 2 points by Sam saw the score increase to 10-0.

Your correspondent and colleagues were positioned on the balcony and it was as though the players only wanted to perform on the patch of grass immediately in front of us. This, of course, was the area where the curtain raiser had been played and was the worst part of the pitch. While patches of green shone through everywhere else – this bit was deep mud. This became all too evident in the 14th minute when Sam was taking a further penalty for Hove and slipped on his butt whilst trying to strike the ball. Copying the “Blaked” one from last week? So, the score remained at 10-0 to Hove for two further minutes until Eastbourne transgressed again and this time the penalty went straight over to increase the tally to 13-0.

In a spooky reprise of last week, the referee also counted the score wrong by five points (according to my calculations in any case) and so I’ve got to award someone an extra try. Well, that has to be to Adam Phillips as in the 25th minute, he received the ball from Sam whilst travelling at speed, jinked round the defenders and touched down. Forward pass said the referee – but then his notebook bore a different testament! So, 18-0 to Hove but no conversion taken.

After 30 minutes on the clock and Hove were not to be stopped. Dave Wattam scored his second try of the game and the score was up to 23-0.

Five minutes later, emerging from the same muddy patch, James Finlason freshly back from Malta duties raced down the wing evading the flailing arms of would be tacklers and touched down to take the score to 28-0.

The final moments of the first half belonged to Adam who in his own inimitable style evaded everyone on the park – including himself (twice) and put the ball down behind the posts with the customary elfin grin of a job well done. Wallop went the boot of Sam and a further two points were added to the Hove tally giving a half time score of 35-0.

The second half started with Eastbourne kicking with the wind although that didn’t seem to help at this particular time as the ball was grubbed along the floor. Strange that the referee allowed the game to continue – but he did and so Hove picked the ball up and were under the cosh from a revitalised Eastbourne side.

Eastbourne had their best patch of the match at this point and went close several times before finally getting a try in the far corner from their number 8 – who in past games has been Hove’s nemesis but he was completely neutralised and thus pretty ineffectual this week. So, with the missed conversion, the score was now 5 to Eastbourne and 35 to Hove and coach Henderson saw fit to shuffle his cards and brought on Tom Howell who replaced Gerwyn Wilson.

The game settled into what might be called a midfield battle of the packs with both sides grinding at each other for the next 20 minutes until the ball came out again at the base of the scrum but this time Adam Phillips – probably getting a bit cold at full back – had joined the fray. Receiving the ball from Matt Sole, Adam chipped the ball over the Eastbourne defensive line and raced round to collect. The ball was dropping down from on high and Adam hadn’t quite got positioned for it and so in a move straight out of beach volleyball tipped at the ball as it dropped, pausing its flight momentarily and then catching it whilst going over for the try. At this point my mind wandered to the bronzed, scantily clad, fulsomed breast goddesses from Brazil so much so that I forgot to watch the conversion but I’m reliably informed that Sam succeeded and the 2 points were Hove’s. 42-5 with the referee’s addition.

After 27 minutes of the second half, Dave Wattam scored his third and jug inducing try after yet another good forward move and the extra two points were rapidly dispatched into the Hove locker by the boot of young Sam raising the tally to 49-5. Shuffle time as Glenn Rankin went off, Harvey Strudwick went from blind to 8, Rory from hooker to blind and Charlie Brock came on to hook.

It was to be another 10 minutes before another score which proved to be the final act of the game as Ryan Morlen raced into the corner and scored but the conversion proved beyond Sam – but only just. A much improved kicking display on an awful day for kickers (and everyone!).

And so, 54 points to Hove and 5 to Eastbourne in what was a cracking game and just what Doctor Hove ordered. I don’t wish to sound churlish but we need to start picking up points in Kent as well as Sussex. How did the other games go? Well, the Lewes revival was interrupted at Lordswood, The Bulls easily beat OD and OE easily beat Purley John. Sevenoaks confirmed their position as the draw specialists finishing 6-6 at home to D&B. But hold!! Next week’s opponents Old Reigatian beat the leaders (and until then undefeated) Warlingham.

So, Warlingham stay on top by points difference from OR who are second. OE stay third and we stay fourth a point behind OE. Next week’s fixture against OR is already setting the mouth watering and it is a must win. if we are to entertain hopes of higher things.

Anyway, back to this week and verdict time. It was a bloody good game and Hove were awesome. One of the best displays away from home that I have seen. As a team we played well.The team is settling in and the familiarity of players with each other is sharpening things and offering us more as the weeks pass which can only be to the good.

Man of the Match? Well, there were so many contenders and I’m not going to name them all. But, I did think that one player who has had to shoulder a big responsibility all season (that of kicking) and has not had the easiest of times – played a blinder. He caught nearly every high ball that came his way despite it swirling in the wind and teasing. All kickable kicks were kicked and some of the others were a gnat’s piss away. The aforementioned Eastbourne 8 had picked that wing for an early charge and the cries on the balcony from the Eastbourne contingent alluded to the Hove winger about to need treatment. Bam. Fat boy was on his arse, the Eastbourne crowd were all open mouthed and our man had the ball. Stand up Sam Whiting – man of the match.

Oh – and by the way, I’ll not mention the fireworks display!