Men’s 1st XV v Bromley 19/02/2005

Away – London 4 South East

Report by Andy Ward

Lost 0-10

Brief details – full report awaited from Statto.

A penalty from the boot of Hove’s answer to John Eales – the erstwhile captain for England Richard “Jacko” Jackson saw Hove to a 3 point lead early in the first half. All Hove spectators who had made the trip to a snow ridden Bromley were aghast. First team Manager – Martin Windsor – was heard to utter the immortal words “What the @!*^ is Jacko doing with that?” Club Secretary – Andy Ward – was more relaxed – “well, he used to be a @!*^ goalkeeper – he should be able to kick, and it is right in front of the posts”.

A sneaky piece of back spin was applied to the kick and it lofted the ball high into the air. The prevailing wind tried to edge it off course but Jacko won through over the elemental forces that were ranged against him. THREE POINTS for Hove Hoorah! said the crowd as one voice.

Within 10 minutes Hove were pressing again and stand in stand off (sounds confusing!) Nick Marshall executed a fine little grubber kick down the right wing which bounced tantalisingly in front of the defender who had it covered. Alas and alack – Oh ground swallow me up the Bromley number 11 must have uttered as the bouncing ball flew to his right as though possessed. Reading the runes like a soothsayer extraordinaire Hove scrum half James Finlason shimmied round the hapless number 11 like a contestant on Strictly Ballroom – Hove’s answer to Natasha Kaplinsky did a dive worthy of Mark Spitz and secured the ball in his hands before gracefully reaching terra firma and securing the touch down.

A further five points in the Hove locker which, for the mathematically challenged, now makes eight. Up steps Thomas Le MeHaute – Hove’s francophile. Jacko did not fancy a kick not directly in front of the posts – and Tom’s kick was firm and true against the wind – flying so sweetly between the uprights in a way that Charlie Hodgson must only dream about. 10 – 0 came the cry from the Hove faithful.

Soon it was half time without addition to the score. The second half was a different game – as the old truism states. Whilst Hove had plenty of possession, this was not converted into points. Bromley also made some good chances and these were similarly unrewarded. A nasty incident towards the end of the game saw a fracas that could and should have been avoided.

Final score 10-0 to Hove

Proper Report by John “Statto” Harrison

Now for Statto’s more sensible interpretation of events…

On a bitterly cold afternoon, with the occasional flurries of snow, Hove won a toughly contested game. In the third minute Hove were awarded a penalty and without a regular goalkicker in the side, second-rower Richard Jackson took up the challenge and slotted the ball over to give the visitors a 3-0 lead.

Following a long kick through, a defensive error saw two Bromley players going for the same ball and James Finlason nipped in to score the try. Tom LeMehaute added the conversion, giving Hove a 10 points to nil lead.

Bromley pressed forward, trying to get back into the game, but Hove’s defence held firm. As the home side had both the wind and the slope in their favour in the second half, they quite obviously thought that it would be only a matter of time before they got onto the score sheet.

The second half itself began with Hove on the attack and pressing to add to their ten point lead, and only a good tackle prevented this, as Matt Card went to score in the corner. Hove gave away silly penalties as Bromley tried to clear their lines and in the fifty seventh minute Bromley were awarded yet another penalty but the kick for goal fell short.

A good Hove move in the sixty first minute looked like leading to a certain score but Laurent Doggett dropped the ball at the vital time as Hove went to kill the game off.

With only a ten point lead Bromley were always in the game. The last ten minutes saw Bromley almost encamped in Hove’s twenty two as they did their utmost to get onto the scoreboard, but Hove held firm and Bromley’s efforts were to no avail.

The final score being Bromley 0 Hove 10. Though Hove are safe in mid-table this defeat has surely scuppered any outside hopes Bromley had for promotion.