Men’s 1st XV v Bognor 06/09/2008

Home – London 3 South East

Report by Andy Ward

Won 24-20

On a windy, rainy day this season appeared pretty much like last season as we entertained Bognor who proved to be Hove’s nemesis last term. Played 3, Lost 3. First half winners 3, Second half losers 3. Not an auspicious record and one that Hove were hoping to change somewhat. An early view of the pre match antics saw that Bognor looked generally bigger all round and were warming up for over an hour! Closer inspection proved that any youth policy had been foregone for this game by the opponents as your correspondent and his informants spotted some of the old guard from several years ago. Hove meanwhile were positively bursting with youthful impetuosity and, quite possibly, acne!

Referee Hague had explained how the game was to be played, done the talk on the experimental law variations, checked the boots and accompanied by a raised arm given a shrill blast on his whistle to indicate the start of the game.

Early skirmishes were pretty equal but with Bognor edging it in the scrum (nothing new there) but as time went on, this advantage was not as obvious and Messrs Henderson D and Hasib P proved to be a firm base on which to build the pack of 8 (as opposed to 3!).

The first blood (points) fell to Hove as young 10 Sam Whiting was given the opportunity to go for a penalty goal. Young Whiting’s boot seems pretty powerful to me and usually true. So it transpired. Thwack!! Kerpow!! and straight between the uprights – although about 150 metres above them – saw Hove get three points and Blakey a near coronary as his little legs struggled to chase the recently dispatched ball so that he could return it to the centre spot to allow play to resume. Clearly, the summer fitness regime of Snakebite hadn’t had quite the desired effect. As this was going on, Statto was prodding the remote control and kicking the (newly housed) scoreboard into life for all the world to see the result of young Whiting’s kick was a 3-0 advantage for the home team.

Some 10 minutes later, we were treated to an encore of the first score with the ball resembling a shot fired from the cannon of a Trafalgan battleship towards the pesky Spanish resulting in three points for Hove and, no doubt, a metaphorical singeing of the King of Spain’s beard (well, OK – Bognor!). Blakey and Statto reprised their cameo roles in this adventure and eventually the ball was found and returned and the scoreboard shouted 6-0 to Hove for the passing throng to all think “We are not worthy”.

Just like this year’s summer, Hove’s superiority was a tad short lived and Bognor’s 10 got in on the penalty kicking act scoring a decent three points and while Statto had to stab the remote once more, Blakey could rest and the let the Bognor TJ find the ball for referee Hague.

Disaster strikes as the rain decides to pour over Hove HQ and caused wing Barry Young to mishandle and present Bognor with a gift try which they accepted with unparalleled glee plopping the ball down so as to give their stand off the easiest of kicking chances which – and no surprise here – he accepted and rattled over a further two points to take the score to Hove 6, Bognor 10.

Frantic button pressing by Statto confirmed what your correspondent’s agile mind had already calculated that Hove were now 4 points adrift and referee Hague brought the first half action to a halt by a companion shrill blast to match the one that started the half and the game went into its 10 minute suspension while the coaches plotted the next moves.

Changes made, with young Paddy (Passport to Lurve…) taking over from James at 9, Danny going to second row for Matt, Simon coming on at full back for Paddy and someone else going off – must take more notice – or drink less lager…

Enough, and the pea in referee Hague’s whistle was again the momentary star of the show as the second half commenced to complement the first 40 minute’s entertainment at the recreation ground. Now, you will recall that I stated that Hove had traditionally won the first half, but lost the second and the game in the last few encounters. The sharp eyed of you will have noticed that today, Hove had actually lost the first half. was this an omen, a portent, an augury, a presage – or to switch into more modern vernacular – a vibe of things to come? Only that great thief of lives – TIME would tell.

Young Whiting started the second half eclipsing how he started the first with instead of a thumping great kick of the ball over the uprights he pounced on the ball and went over for a try and thus five points for his rugby alma mater. Sadly, the conversion was not to be, but Hove were now 11-10 to the good, your correspondent’s glass was full of Carling and the rain had eased off. Bliss.

The game moved on and a further penalty was scored by Bognor edging them into a 2 point lead, and then – disaster – Bognor scored a second try, converted it and suddenly Hove were 9 points adrift at 11-20. That brace of scores proved to be Bognor’s final points of the afternoon, but Hove were not finished yet. With the electronic scoreboard flashing 8 minutes to play, the Hove players gritted their teeth and knuckled down to the task in hand.

From our own half, Paddy picked up the ball and started to run. Looking for an offload he then realised that a gap was there and charged through it wrong footing the Bognor defence who were way out of position. Despite a valiant chase back, Paddy won the race and touched the ball down for a further five points to the hosts. Game on!

A mere 3 minutes later, the ball was kicked down the Bognor right by Hove and the chase was on. A Bognor defender picked up the ball and went to kick clear only to hit the charging Charlie Brock four square in his breakfast. A combination of the Velcro shirts and flailing arms allowed Charlie to keep hold of the slippery ball and pass it out to Callum Rumble who dived over in the corner a nano second before the Bognor boys grabbed him. Too late, a combination of hand signal and whistle indicated referee Hague’s satisfaction and Hove were 21-20 in front. The conversion was missed from way out wide – but only by the merest fraction of a hair’s breadth. Hove pressed again and a final infringement in the loose by Bognor gave Hove a penalty. Up stepped Simon Rowley this time from full back and slotted the ball over for a most satisfying win.

OK, one swallow does not make a summer, but that is two wins and one draw in this summers preamble. With the rest of the team returning soon plus some new starters, there is quiet optimism in the Hove camp for a result next week at Old Elthamians. No-one is over confident or cocksure, but we have been building up and the work has been good. See you next week!