Men’s 1st XV v Old Dunstonian 13/03/2010

Away – London 2 South East

Report by Andy Ward

Won 30-25

On the mildest day for what seems like the last 117 years, my chauffeur arrived and we started to load the vehicle with all the attendant paraphernalia that seems necessary to accompany a trip just to watch a game of rugby. And, in that, we failed as I neglected to bring the video that Old Father Pollard uses in place of his security blanket.

We proceeded to head “oop North” and overtook Pistol Pete steering the bus and the team to their date with Old Dunstonian. Much merriment as we left them for dead with dirt in their faces – well, as much dirt as you get when your Aunty drives!

We found the boozer that had been the target of the Sat Nav and laughed as we saw Pete having to reverse (ask him!) and we dived in for a few beers and some nosebag. As we were approaching the ground we discovered that it was a 2:30 kick off and not the 3:00 we had assumed. Must read the website!

As it happens, we were in good time and managed to sharpen the pencil and get a pint in time to see OD kicking off. For those of you who have travelled with Hove for the last few seasons you may be interested in knowing that last year, we played OD away on 14th February and won by 37-18 (with only four of the team that day surviving to this!). Historical snippet now over.

Hove started brightly enough with the ball working down into the OD territory and eventually coming out to Tommo, who for a moment, had that look of a rabbit in the headlights. Fortunately, the hesitation was only momentary and he recovered in time to get the message into his brain that was being shouted aloud from the touchline – PUT THE F**KER DOWN! And so he did and in doing so scored his first try for the First XV.

The conversion was missed and from the kick off, OD were in the Hove half of the field and were awarded a penalty which they kicked to take the score to 5-3. Hove attacked again from the kick off and won a line out on the opposition 22. The ball was thrown long and evaded the flailing arms of both sets of locks only to land nicely into the waiting arms of Ben Ward at the tail. Given this perhaps unexpected opportunity Ben kept his composure and charged for the line, took the tackle nicely and slipped the ball to Paul Cox who powered through the defence. Straight under the posts and the kick was good and Hove were now 12-3 to the good.

It looked like we might have a bit of a cricket score and with the weather being as pleasant as it could be and me having a pint in hand all was well with Wardy’s World at this juncture.

Sadly, things then started to go a little awry and after several hours trying to piece it all together, I blame stand in Manager Adam who knocked my pint over on the touchline. Bugger. Spurred on by this gratuitous action of pure wastefulness, OD upped the tempo and scored two tries of their own – one converted, one not – before Hove brought the scores back to level with a penalty kick.

Hmm, 15 all with half an hour gone. This wasn’t in the script. Then, bugger me backwards, a long kick out by OD saw Ben a little indecisive and move forward to try and intercept, but the ball bounced, went straight over his nut and their winger was quicker and five more points were awarded to OD. The subsequent conversion and a later penalty took the score to OD 25 Hove 15 at half time.

Into the Clubhouse to check the Wales Ireland score and to get some more throat lubrication and back out in time to see Adam (no – not the one who kicked my pint over!) start the second half. Watty came on for Jake Evans in the only Hove substitution of the game and even though I know that OD had a couple of changes I didn’t make a note of them and now can’t remember!

OD definitely had their tails up now and were putting some decent moves together and also repelling all Hove advances. However, the ref was getting hosed off with a lot of chat from them and was awarding penalties as a result. Hove were awarded five – and, courtesy of Ben’s boot – scored them all. OD didn’t trouble the scorer in the second half.

One incident that mustn’t go without mention was that I saw that Hove had what I can only describe as a denim clad hooligan prowling the touch lines. Must have been a soccer supporter as he was berating the referee and was warned off! As he stepped back he fell over the boundary rope much to the amusement of all.

I can’t reveal his identity but think ex President of Hove (16 years), follower of Welsh rugby (if not a contradiction in terms), had a nursing home, I’m sure you’re all close!

So, we won again and that is to be applauded. A 15-0 scoreline in the second half shows something, but the fluidity wasn’t there that was present against OR last week. Other results of the day saw Lewes beat our next week’s opponents KCS by 76-7 and Sevenoaks crushed Eastbourne by 83-14.

This leaves the table pretty much unchanged with Hove still second on 31 points from 18 games. This compares and contrasts with: 2NE – Sudbury are second on 27 from 19; 2NW has Imperial Medicals, Hammersmith and Fulham both on 27 from 19 whilst over in 2SW Guernsey, Tottonians and Guildford all have 26 from 19.

So, if there is any second automatic promotion as a result of Mount’s Bay folding or indeed any other reason, then Hove are the top placed second place and the likely beneficiaries. If not, then we will likely get the home draw (well, we WILL get the home draw if things stay the same) and will meet one of the 2SW people.

As I mentioned earlier, we have KCS at home next week and no doubt Adam will be advising lunch arrangements shortly. Following that we have a trip to Lewes on 27th March, a week off for Easter, then Deal and Betteshanger at home on 10th April followed by the rearranged Warlingham fixture on 17th April – which is the last scheduled league fixture for this year.

By my calculations, a point next week should give us second place unless Sevenoaks can get a +165 better points difference than us over the next three games. A win guarantees us second place. But, the only target can be three wins.

I’m not certain what is happening in the Cup. I believe we are to play East Grinstead, but there is no spare Saturday and so I guess that we’ll get stuck with a Sunday and have two games in two days. Not ideal, but not much choice. The final is on 25th April at Heathfield and we have yet to fulfil the quarter final tie! So, if we win that then there will be a further game to slot in as well as the play off!

Don’t book your holidays yet chaps!