Men’s 1st XV v Bognor 29/03/2008

Home – London 4 South East

Report by Andy Ward

Lost 19-37

For the third time this season the chaps managed to lead Bognor at half time and yet succumb to their greater trade craft and finish the game in second place. As I have said after both previous games – and repeat now, just on case anyone listens (reads?) – we will have to be better prepared for teams such as these next season otherwise our tenure in the dizzy heights of level 7 will be limited.

But, enough of pessimism for now – it has been a good season (not quite a great one – but good certainly) and we have achieved promotion. If we build upon this during the close season then I, for one, will be looking forward to a great season next term. As is traditional, the Club lunch was attended by the Alickadoos from both sides and the usual verbal sparring was witnessed again – both pre prandial with the Hove Chaplain taking advantage of his blessing of the meal to misquote the late King George V and post prandial by both Presidents to spur their team on to victory. To the Victor the spoils – the loser the washing up?

On to the pitch and Bognor scored within 2 minutes after a series of missed tackles by the home side – tip guys – GRAB THEM LOW!!! and converted the opportunity to race into a 7 point lead before aforementioned Alickadoos had got their hats and scarves on. Statto, however, had eaten lunch in his new ice blue elf outfit and was there, as ever, to prod the correct buttons and burst the electronic scoreboard into life avowing the facts mentioned just above.

Hove responded in the 16th minute with Dan Penney’s boot slotting a good penalty kick over in the 16th minute to reduce the deficit to a more manageable 4 points – a try would do very nicely thanks! And lo and behold – a shining star from the east (well, technically it was the south of the pitch but he was running east to west – so stick with me here chaps) was seen. And the star did move and so it became that the star moved quickly and soon a glimmering presence was over the try line and recent debutant Liam Kenney popped the ball down to take the score to Hove 9, Bognor 7. A further twinkling of an eye later and Dan Penney had soared his kick straight between the posts and the Statto fingers flicked the scoreboard onwards and upwards until it screamed Hove 11 Bognor 7.

Two minutes before the demise of the half, Bognor scored a penalty to take the score to a nerve twitching proximity of 11-10. And so it remained until referee Ansell had determined that two thousand and four hundred seconds had passed since he blew his whistle for the first time that afternoon and thus signaled that the first half was no more and that all the Alickadoos could refresh their hip flasks in readiness for the second bout of 0.666667 hours of entertainment Hove style.

Well, even this style of prosaic nonsense cannot gild the second half lily into a Hove win. Suffice it to say that Bognor scored a further penalty in the 50th and 65th minutes taking the score the 11-16. Whilst this was the case, Hove were still in with a fighting chance – but we did need to get some phases put together. Two minutes later – all seemed lost when Bognor scored a converted try to take the score to 11-23 with rather too much daylight now appearing between the scores.

But Hove dug in and bounced back. In the 70th minute, after decent pressure Hove were awarded a penalty and Dan Penney popped the ball over for a further three points giving the score a slightly more respectable feel at 14-23. Could we make one more effort to get those numbers closing?

Sadly, straight from the kick off Bognor scored a further converted try in the 71st minute and went in front by 14-30.The dice was now to roll a different way and Hove made a break that resulted in a try for Adam Phillips (sadly unconverted) to take the score to 19-30.

Was there a chance – a possibility – of a cataclysm, so that this situation that had seemed hopeless and beyond the power of any natural force to amend; could we still anticipate salvation from a messiah, a conquering hero a “deus ex machina” or some other agent with power to fracture the unsupportable and institute the unobtainable?

In short – No. Hove were breaking out of defence for a final run at the Bognor half and looked good for a gap, but a wayward pass was intercepted by Bognor who ran for the posts and placed the ball bang in the centre for five points soon to be followed by the 2 for the conversion to take the final score to 19-37.

And so, that was it. Hove were beaten for the third time by the best team we have met all season. Had we not had to chase the game in the middle of the second half – could we have done anything? Sadly, we will never know. But it would be disgraceful of us if we did not thank Bognor for their sportmanship and wish them all the very best for next year as they level transfer from SE to SW and move back up a level from 8 to 7.

Finally, I must thank London Society referee Nick Ansell who I thought handled the game marvelously and quite likely put in the best refereeing performance seen at the Recreation Ground this year. Our thanks to you Sir.

So, Brighton away in the John Shelton Trophy next week (transport from the Club is to be provided) and then our final league fixture in a couple of weeks away to the Oyster Boys of Whitstable.