Men’s 1st XV v Eastbourne 11/12/2004

Away – London 4 South East

Report by Sandy Robertson

Lost 16-27

Today’s match report is provided in the original vernacular by Mr. Sandy “Eh Up” Robertson. Translations into English can be got from the Hon. Secretary for £10.00 each.

Hove 1st xv travelled to Eastbourne with what some folk would say was a fair dinkum side. It was the first return fixture for Hove this season, we left on a beautiful sunny winters day, as we reached Eastbourne the cloud came in and things looked dull except in the car that carried the coaches, at least we wont tav sun in r eyes.

Team selection was as follows:

• 1. I will talk you into the ground – Dom Henderson
• 2. Pretty boy (any one would be next to these two – Lee Garrett
• 3. I will slap you if you want – Chris Henderson
• 4. The VAT man – Loz Doggett
• 5. What was that? I’m a bit mutton – Jacko
• 6. Doncaster Donkey “Hands in the ruck” – John Oades
• 7. Don’t touch my hair (Jill still thinks you are gay) John Medhurst
• 8. I’m not that old you know – Matt Wilson
• 9. A little Celt – Struan Robertson
• 10. A real shiner 100 watt – Adam Phillips
• 11. From puberty to man hood – Nick Marshall
• 12. A boy from the valleys – Carl pittaway
• 13. mmmmmmmmm French connection Tom le-sumit French
• 14. Rupert the bear – Rupert Pratt
• 15. A wise person – Graham Street
• 16. The hand of!!!!!! – Jason Ellison
• 17. Rugby player from the West Country – Joe Brooking
• 18. could not miss the Simpson’s – A prop.

On first inspection this was a very different team that Hove had beat at home by 30 points to five. The pack was a lot bigger and they had had a good win the previous week away to Bromley.

Hove lost the toss which was a surprise as Carl normally is a good tosser (of the coin), so they had to play with the slope for the first half. The game kicked off with Eastborne mounting a lot of pressure on Hove’s try line which earned them a penalty (the first of a few, nay lad a bloody lot) which they duly converted. 3-0 down and 75 mins to play on.

Again and again Eastbourne attacked our line but the resolute defensive work in training payed off. A kick down the park by Adam Phillips saw Eastbourne running the ball from their own 22-metre line, with a blink of an eye Nick Marshal intercepted and sprinted for the line all of 15 metres (and that’s being generous) first try to Hove, against the run of play, and duly converted by Adam Phillips.

A lot of work had been done by Eastbourne but with little reward, Hove had now clearly started to play some good rugby, putting Eastbourne under some heavy pressure but Eastbourne had also being doing some defensive work at training keeping a now rampaging Hove at bay.

A kick by Phillips put us on the Eastbourne 5 metre line – our throw in, a maul set up and the ball passed to Jacko. Crashing towards the line he went, only for the whistle to blow for some infringement from Hove (thank god – Jacko would have given after dinner speeches on that for years). The resulting penalty gave Eastbourne breathing space. A spate of good play saw a ruck develop on Eastbourne’s 22 metre line, suddenly handbags were flying and the ball spun to the waiting hands of, yes that’s right, messier le-sumet French for him to sprint away under the posts.

Duly converted by Adam Phillips. This now saw Hove in a little bit of a commanding position 14-3 up and half time beckoning. A ruck was set up from the restart the ball passed to Phillips to Pittaway to le-sumet French, off he went past his marker. Rupert on his outside the full back coming in for the cover tackle a little show of the ball from le-sumet French saw the Eastbourne full back lost and away went le-sumet French for the line, TRY under the posts, duly converted by Adam kicking boots Phillips.

21-3 half time whistle. A calm half time talk was required and an on-take of water, what a first half but now we had to play against the slope.

Eastbourne turned round wanting a win and started to play like they did, putting Hove under a lot of pressure which left Hove with players injured all over the park, this allowing Eastbourne a try from there second row who was lingering on the wing he scored in the corner but their kicker didn’t have the boots that Adam Phillips had.

Hove started to play some very dodgy rugby being penalised from the ref for hands in the ruck and off side at the mauls, this seamed to unsettle this young side with the exception of Oades and Jacko who having played in many a game against Eastbourne rallied the young uns and Hove started to play rugby again putting pressure on Eastbourne resulting in a penalty in the favour of Hove, up stepped the young Phillips and over went the kick 24-8.

Eastbourne answered by putting Hove under pressure and being awarded a penalty 24-11, with the play being stepped up by Eastbourne Hove continued to infringe and from a quick taken penalty they scorched over in the corner for a try 24-16. With the conversion missed. Things didn’t seem to good for Hove especially when the young (shut that door!) John Medhurst was sent behind the posts for ten minutes when it should have been Oades, but never mind the next ten minutes saw some frantic plays from both sides with Hove scoring the last points of the game with a well taken kick by Adam Phillips.

Final whistle Hove had done the double on Eastbourne 27-16 what a good game of Rugby. Many thanks must be made to all the players as this is a 15 man game, from Lozz in the second row, Graham at 15 did an excellent job and Struan at no 9 working very well with Matt at no8, our back row (when on the pitch) had the better part of the game. Well-done lads.

Sandy